Once in a Blue moon !!

one thing that i have always heard people say is ,how difficult it is to say ‘No’. many people mention it as a personal weakness and many  can’t keep up with saying No where they said Yes. i have seen it becomes even difficult for women for they think, “What will people think of me?”, “How will the other person feel about it?”, “What if she gets upset with my response” and such unnecessary doubts.

i am not just talking about work but also about our personal choices. saying ‘No’ to marriage, ‘No’ to kids or may be saying ‘No’ to sex? It’s not as easy as it may sound. sometimes, i feel it is hard to draw that line where we do things out of love and respect vs. things that we do to just please others. i am sure you must have heard people say “My parents wanted me to get married and settle down”. “My husband wanted me to change my job” .”My daughter wanted me to wear a skirt today”. sometimes, we all need to understand whether our actions are based on love, respect or to keep people happy and relationships infact.

it is not at all wrong to give in to choices of others and the intent  to  you from showing your love the way it works for you. the idea is to understand your own self and give your heart and mind a break from what people will think and say about you. my belief is that those who love you will always understand when you say No. And a No never means that the love is on a downward spiral. it means that you want to do what is best for you at that point in time.

never underestimate the pressure and stress you go through when you do something that you did not want to do in the first place. always know that doing something which had your whole-hearted effort is much better than doing something just cos you were asked to do it. A No can always be communicated in the right manner and be rest assured you wouldn’t disappoint any body.

so, whether you are at work, at home, shopping or walking, try saying No when you want to say No. be assertive in your response and learn to lead a life on your terms. it may be okay with some and it may upset a few but that should sound reasonable when they know that a yes or no is not directed to people, it is a direction to self.

it’s easier said than done but trust me, i am also trying this one. :) and ofcourse hardly and strongly i did once to you ..it was dat blue moon in my life ..i never forget.

...:) your jyoti..

Beginning of Life !!

this title looks a little strong, right?

i know what you are thinking but trust me, i am not asking you to be self-centered. i am asking you women to think about your self and be aware of what you want. do you remember the last time you did something that interests you? do you remember the last time you went out with your loved one to spend some time that was exclusive to you both? do you remember the last time you did not worry about who will do the dishes or who will cook meals if your help calls in sick?............this is for you mom..have u really think of you !!


women around me are always busy, always thinking of every big and little thing except about themselves..... they are okay to miss their own breakfast but don’t forget to pack their husbands..... they skip their morning walk but don’t forget to wake the rest of the family up.... . ...  and i ask why?


here is what i strongly believe – if i am not happy with my current state, i wonot be able to keep my loved ones happy. i will remain annoyed and cranky, i will have a hard time understanding others in my life. if i am not healthy, how will I take care of those who I love. if i am not working towards my career goals, how will i encourage others to do so. i believe, it all begins with me.


the flight safety instructions also recommend that a mother should wear her mask first and then help her child. so, stop being sacrificing to that last morsel on the plate, keep yourself fit, think of your career and your personal goals, your purpose in life and do what keeps you alive as a person and strive to find joy in yourself. yes, your family needs you but not more than you need yourself......................


though today i felt i m lil selfish ...but i strongly believe ..i have to just bcoz i love you all ...taking care of you is as simple as taking care of me.. to make you smile ,, i have to smile first ..this is what putting mask is so tuff one day...but neither start nor end ..its just beginning of life ...miles to go...jyoti..win me over, take me out..!!

Dark Knight Pearl..

Life gives us choices and oppurtunities ..!! If we dnt grab them at the  right time ,,we may not get the chances again.. !!! we may not get the second chance to make your first impression then !!

We all are in race , competing to win !! but , in the process,,we make choices and listening to the wrong voices ..  now how do you / i know what is wrong and what is right ..?? It is really different from person- to- person depending upon their vision and requirement ..right ?? is not it ??

Nothing with self interest ..den ..to achieve them we ignore the rest of world ..?? when the realization drawns, its usually too late !! but ,, wishes  have no ending ...

For what you have no time ?? if someone willing to devote whole life ..??  for what you dnt wanna do ...someone praying for an oppurtunity to do the best ...??

All the riches and profits become meaningless when u already lost your loved one !! in a second ..the whole world just revolved and left you  mid in a crowd ..no doubt we suffer for a lost face ..for a life time and ever ........... i surprised to discover that untold unseen thots ......

and now i have the complete story .........which i got to know.. wt really is ...
but the story is ovio different quiet different.......trust me different ..its another time to share soon...

but, yes it flashed like Dark Knight Pearl...
we have the power to ensure the Dark Knight Pearl ..which spark like anything for a nice haapy ending ...........

d poured drops ..

there is much to say, and there is so little lost in translation. yet, you and me hanker for that little. the part of you I do not get, and the part of me you do not need. 

i have  been thinking a great deal of conversion, of what it really means to change a life around, purify yourself, and come to the God of sacrifice. many times in my life, i have had reason to doubt myself, my conviction, and most especially my capacity to be saved.

it was a morning, in my home town. I haven’t written much on this blog the last couple of months for the simple reason that it has barely rained.in fact, we have summer now.

writing about rain feels awesome. there was of walking in rain, this blog, multiple rain , to walk in rain  and a new jump in rain . thats a lot of writing about rain. i donot think there is anywhere else i can take it or it can take me.
i was sitting in my window seat watching rain and thinking of the drops it pours on my palm and then suddenly made me move to the roof,, and thot of typing . . i was not into rain these days, my final days. about the only time i can enjoy some joyful expression from her is when the sun shines .

frankly, i can’t believe she is still alive after nearly  her birthday . her rally has impressed me and i simply take it day-to-day with her fragile existence. caring for her these past couple of months has taught me a few things about myself. I like the lessons.

my sense is that I will stop writing about rain when she dies. naturally, i will continue to advocate for rain, but its  in my literary life will fade and perhaps disappear altogether. 

we all want the wrong things. we all desperately want something we can never get. we are all born in the wrong time. we all fall for the wrong lover. we all eat the wrong food. we all say the wrong things. to put it , our existence is mostly all wrong.

funny things have been happening in my world. or perhaps it is better to say that the world - my world - has taken on a funny hue all of its own. it changes faster than Ii can make up my mind. and yet - strangely - it is supposed to be my world. but the funniest part of all this is that I cannot seem to stop laughing at it. sometimes i feel like the joker, with the permanent smirk on my face. and if you are anywhere close to knowing this shines of the Dark Knight, you'll know that it cannot be a good feeling.

i cannot quite put a finger on what is it that is so funny. but let me try. suddenly friends are drying up. people with whom one day, one shared soggy, wet tit-bits of one's  life have found better things to do. or perhaps they have just grown off me as if i was a childhood doll that they used to play with. how does that make me feel? much like woody I'd say. even this would have been tolerable, if people had not become rude - maybe they are just busy i tell myself or maybe they all got secretly married (both are not exactly the same thing, even if you wish they were). but busier than me? seriously! even I do not have any idea about how busy i am. but it gets even better. childhood  folks i had silently vowed never to confide in or talk a sensible word to - are turning out to be compassionate listeners. How weird is that!

i have developed this amazing ability to forget. forget unpleasant times - unwanted words - unanswered questions - unexpected rudeness - uncried tears. strange and unsettling, this new found power is. gives me a like sense of calm. calm. i am starting to fear it now - perhaps something in me goes to sleep every time i forget something. or perhaps something goes quiet. it is not funny when i cannot recall what made you upset last night or when was the last time i cried. it is scary when i cannot recall when was the last time we had a fight or when was the last time i had a laugh. Hmmm... perhaps i am being melodramatic here.  That would be funny too. 

i am almost done now. with this one at least. perhaps with the next one too. i have one request though. When it is over, please laugh...this is what you rain poured me on my face ..jyoti laugh and laugh... ummha to me and you and only you.