one year back when i joined this place, i was numb, unsure of what was coming to me. strangers, i tried to befriend with everyone around. everyone started building their own view points towards me. some thought i was too dumb, few thought i was too smart, few took me as too friendly and few gave me the title of too silent.
a variety of characteristics was put into me and surprisingly everything lying in the extremes. with the passage of time, i kept getting new names, titles and my list of characteristics kept on increasing. sometimes i was a kid and sometimes the granny, at times the silent lass and at times the furious girl.
today, when i look back i wonder how come i allowed each emotion of mine to flow in this place. i was supposed to maintain a professional distance with everyone but did i really? i lost regarding this pathetically. i end up being friend with everyone and emotionally attached to each one..damn me!
these people are not just colleagues, actually they have never been my colleagues. at this point of time, when i am busy collecting my last few moments in the city, i managed a little time to share my space with each one. you might be at times bored and at times annoyed but blame the person and not me. unlike college and university hostel days are silent and absolutely silent. i don’t know whether i became cranky or it’s just busy lifestyle. i was not the most popular ones in college or university but definitely among the most loved ones. i used to sit, chat and chat and chat. time hardly meant anything for us unless it was during exams. we can talk, dance and talk and dance on any topic and on any music. the silence of present day evenings might be due to lack of friends or times. not that i didn’t try making friends here but it just didn’t happen. so, I miss those talkative yesterdays’ evenings and long nights that i used to spend with my dearest friends and roomies.
i still remember my first day with my first mobile phone and days after with same and different mobile phones. i used to talk with friends till my phone becomes as hot as to burn my ears. i used to message and reply even in sleep. my mom used to call every day and my friends used to call every hour. today, i keep my phone aside in the morning and it stays numb till the evening. no phone calls and no messages, no watsapp, no facebook except few pings . last call logs include phone numbers of mom, bank guys, ecommerce guys, naukri guys but unfortunately not a single friend. i don’t blame them, how can I, as the dial logs are even worse. so, i also miss those yesterdays’ fun chat times over the phone with friends, friends and some more friends. some of my friends are with God also ...
when i look back i miss those yesterdays. people say past and future always seems to be beautiful. i don’t say my yesterdays were ‘no complaints’ days. there were both good and bad days but when I look at my life today, i miss many things from my yesterdays. and when i say many, i really mean many. just trying to frame the missing parts of my yesterdays in my today through this post........
